Using the Dropping Anchor Technique to Manage Stress and Conflict During Separation
Separation and divorce are among the most emotionally turbulent experiences a person can go through. From overwhelming stress to intense emotional triggers, these moments can make it hard to stay grounded and make clear decisions—especially when co-parenting conflict or property negotiations are involved.
As a family lawyer and family dispute resolution practitioner dealing with conflict management, one of the tools that I have come across that can help is the Dropping Anchor technique—a simple mindfulness practice from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT)—to help clients calm emotional storms and avoid impulsive reactions.
🧠 What Is the Dropping Anchor Technique?
Dropping Anchor is a grounding exercise designed to help you regain emotional control during high-stress moments. The process is made up of three simple, actionable steps:
1. Acknowledge Your Thoughts and Emotions
Notice what you’re feeling without judgment.
“I’m feeling angry and overwhelmed right now.”
2. Connect with Your Body
Bring awareness to your physical state.
Press your feet to the floor. Breathe deeply. Stretch or gently move.
3. Engage with the Present Moment
Shift your focus to what’s happening around you.
Name five things you can see, hear, or feel in your current environment.
By "dropping anchor," you prevent yourself from being emotionally swept away—just like a boat stabilizing in stormy waters.
Why Is Dropping Anchor Useful During Separation?
When you’re going through a family separation or divorce, you’ll inevitably face emotionally charged situations. Whether you're navigating co-parenting disagreements, court proceedings, or financial stress, staying calm is crucial.
Here’s how this mindfulness technique helps:
✅ Prevents emotional overwhelm from hijacking your decisions
✅ Promotes thoughtful, solution-focused responses
✅ Supports better co-parenting communication
✅ Lowers stress and anxiety
✅ Keeps your focus on your children and future goals
How to Apply Dropping Anchor in Real-Life Conflict
Here’s how you can use this technique in practical family law or separation scenarios:
📱 Conflict via Text Message
🔴 Without anchoring: You send a reactive, emotional reply.
✅ With anchoring: You pause, ground yourself, and respond neutrally.
👩⚖️ Before a Mediation or Court Appearance
🔴 Without anchoring: Anxiety builds and clouds your judgment.
✅ With anchoring: You breathe, acknowledge your nerves, and stay focused.
👧 Conversations with Children
🔴 Without anchoring: You respond from guilt or sadness.
✅ With anchoring: You stay present and offer calm reassurance.
Final Thoughts: Stay Grounded, Stay in Control
You can’t always control what happens during separation—but you can control how you respond. The Dropping Anchor technique is a powerful, accessible tool that helps you stay emotionally grounded, reduce conflict, and make wiser decisions—especially in high-conflict separation situations.
Want to explore guided support through this journey?
Mediation can help separated parents find common ground without going to court.
📞 Contact Dannielle Young Mediation today to learn how we can support you.
